To Cultivate Happiness, You Have to Study It
Illustration by Amber J (me!)
Creating peace and joy in your life requires a change in mentality that can take a long while to achieve, but many of us are willing to work towards it. But sometimes, no matter how hard we’re working, we hit a wall.
Why Isn’t It Working?!
A lot of us faithfully say affirmations every day, bravely endure shadow work, and engage with many modes of self-development all for the sake of changing our mindsets so that we can have a happier, more positive disposition. But we still wind up feeling like we’re stuck.
That stagnant feeling can become all the more apparent when you’re waiting on a manifestation to materialize or for a goal to be achieved. As you’re saying your intentions every day and journaling every night, you might start to feel like “This is not working!” Side note: it is working, but I’ve discovered that there is a more complete, more thorough way to garner a healthier mentality.
I do believe that repetition is a very crucial part of learning how to become more positive, more understanding, more loving, more patient, etc. But you must go beyond repetition.
It occurred to me the other day that in order to cultivate peace, happiness, and joy, you have to study it.
How I Figured it Out
This thought presented itself to me because, right now, I’m learning another language. I do a lot of daily exercises and practice to help me learn (at least an hour a day of collective work). I’ve been learning this language for about two months, but I really started doubling down on my studying in the last month. That’s when I began to notice that words in this language were coming to my mind even when I wasn’t actively engaging in studying. Then I started to have dreams of people speaking it (very basic words and phrases) and I understood them .
Those dreams made me remember that the same phenomenon happened when I was in college learning organic chemistry. Organic chemistry is a notoriously difficult subject because, at the point when you take it, you’ve never seen any other science class like it. I had received a bad grade on my first test, so I wanted to make up for it. To do that, I had to immerse myself in the subject.
I did everything. I went to office hours, I went to study groups, I had multiple study buddies, and I studied countless hours on my own. I was studying so hard, that I was having dreams about organic chemistry. There those dreams are again!
When you dream about something, it’s a clear indicator that that thing has made it to your subconscious. You have made it so important to your conscious mind that your subconscious follows suit by reworking it over and over. That’s what my subconscious mind was doing with my organic chemistry studying.
My subconscious was repeating and working through my own studying for me, even in my sleep!
Then it hit me, it must be that in order for us to get really deep into our subconscious, to create a shift and cultivate a new mindset, we have to study it. So what does this mean exactly? How do we study a new mindset?
I researched to find the components of effective studying and applied them to how we can go about setting intentions, saying affirmations, engaging in self-talk, and other modes of self-development.
What Does Effective Studying Look Like?
Effective studying happens in different environments, at different times. This means that you’ll want to write down, say aloud, or think about your affirmations and intentions when you enter a new environment.
For example, if you’re trying to improve your self esteem, and you’ve chosen the affirmation statement “I am beautiful” to do so, you should be saying it to yourself when you wake up, when you’re in the shower, when you’re in the car, when you’re at work, when you’re out having fun, etc. It seems like a lot, but this is a game changer.
Repeating the statement you want to integrate into your mindset when you’re in different environments helps your brain form new and distinct memories that all have one statement tying them together. This signals to your brain that that particular statement, that belief, is very important and should be internalized.
Great studying also comes from practice. This one requires some self awareness. You’ll have to catch yourself when you’re having thoughts that reflect the belief system you’re trying to move away from and replace it with thoughts that stem from the belief system you’re working towards.
For example, continuing along with the “I am beautiful” affirmation statement, when you look in the mirror and think to yourself, “I wish I was prettier,” you will have to catch yourself. As quickly as you remember to do so, you must say to yourself in response ,“Actually, that’s not true. I am beautiful. So I don’t have to wish I was prettier.”
Consciously responding to your old belief system with truths from your new belief system helps you put your new belief system into practice. The more you practice this consciously, the more your subconscious will pick up on it and begin to do it too, until it becomes automatic. Over time, your healthy responses will become fully integrated as your default way of thinking.
Lastly, effective studying comes from understanding. This method is very important because as much as it helps you to incorporate whatever new intentions you’ve set for yourself, it also forces you to let go of the unhealthy old things you’ve grown to believe about yourself (insecurities are an example of an unhealthy belief about yourself).
I remember reading about a study done by psychologist Mark McDaniel that gave people a string of facts to remember: “The hungry man got into the car. The strong man helped the woman. The brave man ran into the house.” And so on. The subjects struggled to remember just the statements alone, but after being given an explanation for the men in each of the statements, researchers found that their memory increased significantly.
This indicates to me that simple repetition is not enough to quickly reach our subconscious (which is where implicit, long-term memory is held). We need understanding. We need to know “why”.
When you seek to understand why you believe the things you believe, it becomes easier to make the connections required for true learning and integration. Ask yourself, why are you trying to heal your mindset? Even the simple act of answering that question shifts your brain towards deeper understanding.
In aiming to truly comprehend your new belief system, your brain will use what you already know to connect to what you’re trying to learn. Merely repeating new affirmations and intentions just allows them to pile on top of what you already believe about yourself, others, and the world around you.
Simple repetition still allows your old, unhealthy values to keep hanging in your brain, forcing your conscious mind to keep trying to justify why they’re there.
True understanding interrogates those old, outdated beliefs. You’ll know that you’ve achieved true understanding of your mantras and affirmations when they start to make way more sense to you than your fears and insecurities.
I believe that any or all of these methods can be used to do the deep work required to move past any psychological or spiritual “stuck” point in your journey to self development.
I hope you’re able to integrate at least one of these methods into your life, or maybe even all of them. Either way, I know you will be successful in cultivating a more positive approach to life and creating a healthier mindset for yourself!
